TXMagpie’s Neighborhood

So I'm back. If you're interested in keeping up, tune in to http://dreaminguplife.blogspot.com/

"You always had the power."
--Glinda the Good Witch (quoting a sign hanging in my obstetrician's office)

For this blog, my friends, we're at the end of the yellow brick road.

I thought of taking you to India with me, really. It's shaping up to look like a real farce based on some news I heard today from R.M.

The truth is, though, I'm itching to take my creativity in another direction this year, one that doesn't involve letting others dissect my heart's desires or deepest feelings out there in the open. You see, with blogging, I forgot a simple rule that Sonia Choquette taught me years ago (the paraphrased version): When trying to create your heart's desire, don't go around sharing it with others!  They'll be happy to share their opinions with you.

She taught me something else, too: CHANGE YOUR STORY!

So maybe it'll be a pottery class or some painting. Or maybe I'll start jotting down notes to write a memoir about my cross-cultural marriage (posthumously, R.M., posthumously!). But I won't be here. I'm out working on  (playing on?) my new story.

There's a happy ending to leave you with. Maybe.

On New Year's Day, the one year anniversary of when I learned of my first doomed pregnancy last year, I began to have a sneaking suspicion based on a telltale symptom. December's season of miracles apparently left behind a belated and unexpected gift.

A heart's desire, if you will.

It's still early for this story. We know this is a fragile gift and were we to focus on the past, perhaps we'll spend all our time worrying that it won't stay. Each morning when I wake, I curse the morning sickness it brings. Yet I praise it in the next breath. No matter the outcome, I take it for what it is: a miracle.

I wish you many miracles in your life, too.

Started having another anxiety attack about the India trip late this afternoon when R.M. started reciting the various scary sounding vaccines we likely need to get: Hepatitis A. Hep B. Malaria. Typhoid. And we need to do it pronto.

This evening as I was cleaning up my desk, though, I came across my copy of Holy Cow - An Indian Adventure by Sarah MacDonald. I remember she had visited Kerala and flipped through the pages until I found this luscious description:

Kerala...is a young fecund mother of abundance. Big wide wet rivers snake through acres of fat coconut palms with electric green leaves. Pineapples, mangoes and coconuts are sold under the shade of flame flowers and frangipani.....The Keralan people are beautiful, with big round bodies, wide smiles and dark skin.

Maybe not so bad?

One commitment I made over the holidays was to do more writing. I just got word today that an online literary zine dedicated to infertility issues (Exhale) is going to publish something I wrote about that Christmas Eve dream. It's posting later this month!

Now here's a blog to give you some thought on how to live differently in 2009 - this No Impact Man guy wants to ease up on the environment so much that he even avoids riding elevators.

Live from Palm Springs....sending you Happy New Year greetings!

Our daughter and I spent several hours soaking in the local hot springs for a few hours this afternoon while R.M. and our son went golfing. The combination of warm water, the sun on my skin (as well as a 1/2 quart of Cheesecake Factory iced tea and full belly) mellowed me into a good frame of mind to let the end of the year pass on to the next.

The first day of 2009 is bittersweet as it's the anniversary of when I first learned I was pregnant last year and the day that R.M. proposed marriage. Ironically, I'm suffering a nice case of PMS this New Year's Eve.

However, I'm determined not to get maudlin. Attitude makes a difference no matter the circumstances and I've decided to go into the year with optimism: somehow things work out for the best.

Time passes and new stories begin. Last year brought marriage and miscarriage but, overall, a feeling that life is getting better than ever.

So what's in store for this year? I can't wait to find out.

Just one more reason why we should think twice about voting for anyone who has ever worked in government in Alaska: I appeal to all of you this holiday to fight for Snowzilla! Would Frosty the Snowman have been able to have his many televised adventures living in Anchorage? I think not!

R.M. sent me this link about two guys from India,  Rinku and Dinesh, who won an American-Idol type baseball contest and have now been recruited to play for the Pittsburgh Pirates. R.M. is getting a kick out of this as he went to school in Pittsburgh and is a faithful fan of many of the local teams (I lose him to Steelers football almost every Sunday, so can attest to this). If nothing else, watch the ESPN video. The Halloween photos are interesting, too.

I woke up with a smile on my face for the first time in days. Had a dream in which I discovered ripe apples growing on a tree in the backyard, then went inside and found a ring-necked dove nesting in the parakeet cage and a litter of baby hamsters in the hamster cage.* It was one unexpected surprise after another and the abundance of it all  tickled me. Even as I wondered what on earth we would do with all of those baby hamsters!

Indichova says to pay attention to these dreams when trying to bring in a new creation of any kind. I'm not really sure what this one means yet, but maybe it's a reminder that (1) sometimes I don't recognize the abundance in my own home and backyard and (2) life is full of surprises.

Here's wishing you abundant surprises on your holiday, everyone.

*For the record, we don't have an apple tree out back. Just a small blood orange and Meyer lemon tree. And we have no dove or hamsters...that I know of, but perhaps I should peek into the parakeet cage this morning and double check.

Maybe it's time for a little gratitude check....

• My mother-in-law sent me an online holiday card this morning with a nice message.
• R.M. massaged my neck as we drove to a holiday party last night. "Now tell me," he said. "How many of your prior boyfriends would do this for you?" I had to admit the answer was ZERO - none of them ever noticed that it needed some extra TLC. He's the best. I should never forget that.
• We're taking a jaunt to sunny Palm Springs soon. Because we can.
• We can pay our mortgage every month. And we sold R.M.'s prior house before the market crashed. Every time I see a house in our neighborhood with a For Sale sign sitting there for weeks and months, I remember to be grateful for that.
  
• Our dog, who's so loving and playful.
• The seedlings in the garden, including a new batch of beets coming up. And the foresight to cover them before the frost and hail hit last week.
• The gas fire that didn't get me - I was cooking alone Saturday night and somehow my acrylic pullover sweater caught fire over our stove. I was able to react quickly and get it off of me in time.
• Friends like TXMagpie who know how to make me smile.
• Our son, who has just discovered the joys of text messaging (Mom, I'm in the bathroom, but I'll be out soon.)
• Our daughter, who can light up a room when she's happy and smiling.
• Our funky, fake Christmas tree. I'll take a 6-ft plastic job over chopping down one of the lungs of the earth any day.